Sex and the Single Monster: The Secret Life of Godzilla

Who else out there agrees that sex is probably the last thing that rubber suit monsters bring to mind?  Okay, a B-movie swamp thing carrying off a bikini-clad bathing beauty does imply the possibility of some off-camera spawning.  But the babe that slimy grabs off the poop deck won't exactly be laying eggs for her gill-man to fertilize at the bottom of the stream, will she?  Face it, not a lot to think about here.

Apparently for some parts of fandom, and for the cultural critics who chase after them, there is something going on.  An example of an important area of perpetual speculation and inquiry has to do with finding out what sex Godzilla is?  Does it have a gender?  A wonderful fan website, "Ask the Kaiju King," thinks 'zilla has been different sexes depending on the movie.  Many fans solve this ambiguity by claiming that Godzilla is both he and she, or a self-procreating hermaphrodite.

You'd think this kind of revery is a clear indication of too much time on one's hands, but not so!  Critic William Tsutsui reports in "Godzilla on My Mind; Fifty Years of the King of Monsters" that fans not only wonder if the monster has a sex, but if it is having straight or gay sex?  One site from the "Nerd World" domain Tsutsui observes, is a first-person "Zillafag" perspective of the green one's Out-and-Proud gay lover.  Another fan site sees Godzilla vs Megalon as a completely queer movie.  Even the New York times' film reviewer Vincent Canby thought he saw an unnatural affection spring up between grade-school character Ken-chan and the big guy in Godzilla vs the Smog Monster.  The gay/straight dilemma is fodder for endless suppositions.

So then, what is that certain something that brings sex to mind when watching a Godzilla film?  'Zilla scholar David Kalat says it's not your imagination.  His tome, "A Critical History and Filmography of Toho's Godzilla Series," recounts how studio execs decided to adopt the pacing of popular Japanese softcore sex movies.  The studio heads decided that Godzilla, like porn, would need to have a stimulating scene every five minutes, otherwise the kids watching the film would get bored and start running around the theater.  When Godzilla was fighting or trashing some part of Tokyo, the kids stayed quiet and glued to the edges of their seats.

Of course, it's a no-brainer that there should be some crossover somewhere between rubber suit monsters and the burgeoning latex-wearing fetish set?  Nope!  Haven't found it.  Not for lack of trying, however.  But the whole latex outfit search thing almost made my laptop go up in flames!  If you find a link, drop me a line.

Check out the "monster-on-monster" action in the trailer for 'Godzilla vs the Smog Monster'...